Perhaps I should’ve used the word “dependent”, rather than alcoholic. But then they say that alcoholics will deny they have a problem and no one would know better about that than myself. My father was an alcoholic until a massive intra-cranial stroke stopped him from lifting another glass. My grandfather was an alcoholic until the day he died…at age 94. My great-grandmother was an alcoholic, as was my uncle, my aunt as well….I pretty much just thought that it was the “norm”. My uncle died of alcoholism, as did my mother-in-law. Booze robbed them of the simple pleasures in life…like watching the grand-kids grow and missing out on the last grandchild. When they drank though….they drank endlessly.
I have just become “dependent” on a couple of glasses of wine, each night. It still takes away from a crisp, clean, fresh start in the morning but….it helps me to get to sleep. I had a period of 6 months where I suffered through insomnia. I would fall asleep after 30 minutes of tossing, only to be jolted wide-awake and unable to fall asleep again…..until 5 or so hours later. Along with thoroughly enjoying the flavor….I feel that I just “need” it to help me sleep. I think the stress in my life really doesn’t help the matter.
But really….I’m tired of this “need”. I “need” to be with Jesus more. I don’t want to feel the need for wine every night…. “Do not get drunk on wine, which leads to debauchery. Instead, be filled with the Spirit.” Ephesians 5:18
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